Lady GAA GAA - Colleen Downham

Six Long months I spent in Dublin
Six Long months eating nothing at all
Brogan, Bonner,O'Donnell and Brady
Waiting for me at the GAA Ball

Twas in the wet August of two thousand and seven,
I cashed in my ISA and went planning my life
The plan twas pure and simple in nature,
I'd bag a GAA man & bea footballers' wife.

Forget your Beckhams,your Crouches ,your roving Ronaldos
Ciunas about Redknapp, Cole and Zidane
If you want some decent old fashioned loving,
Its worth setting your sights on a GAA man.

I moved to Drumcondra and started my mission
cuz the best things in life cost blood sweat and tears;
St. Tropez, Pilates, Gelnails & Botox
All for the love of Sean Og de Paor

Six Long months I spent in Dublin
Six Long months with the Gooch on my wall
Poland, Dolan, Sheehan and Rooney
Drooling for me at the GAA Ball

Although I had favourites, I wasn't too fussy
That strapping lad Whelan could turn a head in or two
But the likes of O'Rourke would be gentle and loving
with a better technique than those big boys in blue.

I met with the sceptics,they spoke in their dozens
'You haven't a chance with this breed of men,
If you're name isn't Eileen, Deirdre or Breeda
You're wasting your time so you'd best plan again'.

Six Long months I spent in Dublin
Learning Heifers from Fresians from Charlaois and all
Doyle, Coulter and the All Star Big Dan
Falling for me at the GAA Ball

I thought I was in with Maestro O'Dwyer
Oozing manly appeal in the lobby at first
But before I got further he was stormed by red and green jerseys
So I thought I'd take care of my terrible thirst

Then they poured out & I drank it back again

They poured it out & so I slugged it back again 

They poured it out & I knocked it back again

A free bar is a curse at a GAA ball.

Up until now, I think I remember
The raffle, the speeches, the drink and the meal
I  heard someone say 'Mick take the whole of Bohola
If  you'll turn down the rest and shake on a deal'

The night was long and the drinks they kept flowing
The investment I'd made had not been in vain
I flickered my hair and fluttered my eyelids
My Beyonce moves drove the Cork boys insane

Six Long months I spent in Dublin
Praying at shrines from Greencastle to Youghal
Sheflin,Brick ,Earley and Cooper

Brawling for me at the GAA ball

Then all of a sudden he came from the mens’ room

 I felt a fierce fever like I'd never before
His face was carved by the hands of an angel
T'was the last face I saw as I fell to the floor.

As the ambulance weaved through the streets of the city
I wiped streaks of mascara from my tearstained cheek
Despite flashing my drawers at the brothers O'hAilipn
I knew meeting the 'one' meant my mission's complete

Six Long months I 'd spent in Dublin
Six Long months in more debt than the Dail
I found love with the Lithuanian barman
After 12 Baby Guiness at the GAA Ball